You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December, 2008.
2008.
It had come and soon,it’s going.Awaiting a brand new year.A brand new life ahead.Seems like alot of things have been happening in 2008.The good ones,the bad ones.Those that need to be remembered and some,for us to forget.It’s been a fruitful journey and every day,it seems like a learning process of this thing called life.
We choose to make resolutions everytime as new year approaches.We promise to be this,and we promise to be that.But,somehow,from my personal experience,i rather not.
Let’s talk about it.
Work Related
- I have been in Central Fire Station for a year now.And,like i tell everyone of them,rather be in Central than anywhere else.It had thought me the meaning of life.From life and death,i have seen it all.From going to high profile cases,to going through cases that make us cry even till now and even some cases which make us a better person.I am thankful that i chose Central Fire Station as my first choice station ever since i passed out.With great friends,great companions,great colleagues.It have been a very homely feeling to be here
Family
- My mom and dad,finally went to complete their haj pilgrimage and left 3 of the boys home alone.It had thought me to be more independent.Even though sometimes,i can be quite lazy to do household chores.I would always depend on my mom to do the housework,but now,they’re not here,it’s up to the boys to work together to make the house clean.Meals are easy as all of the boys in these household can cook.Blame it all on my mom’s genes.
- Nurul,my niece just started Primary One.And she,as always,as michevious as she can be.Very cheeky.The youngest in her class.I wish her all the best in Primary Two and ensure that she will always study hard.
- My younger brother,got to reprsent ITE Dover in an Electrical Engineering Seminar in Thailand.His group project is one of the contenders.
- Me?I just make sure i don’t mess my room.hahah.And i think i failed terribly.
Friends
- The colleagues in Central Firestation,are more than colleagues.They’re my good friends.Those who can give a listening ear and a comforting shoulder when i’m in need.
- There are a few friends who had come and go in my life.Especially in 2008.Sad huh.
- I miss my band.Afizukil and Yusman.My band mates,all caught with growing up that somehow,we forgot about being in a band.Guess,that’s life.We can’t be rockstars.
- Some of my friends got hitched up and i give the highest congratulations to them.
Love
- 1st march,1630hrs.I finally meet the girl of my dreams.In the critical care area,in that very room while registring for a patient,we met.Our eyes met and exchange of phone numbers,to late night talks,to the hug at the staircase.From knowing each other’s past,we still uphold,and we still love each other more.Yes,she can be a tad emotional and i can be a tad blunt,we love each other for the littlest things and accept each other flaws.I love her ever since i laid my eyes on her from inside the ambulance.That short haired,arab-looking,girl whom i thought was some skinhead chick,turned out to be the most sweetest,most commited girl i ever met.I hope in years to come,she will always be mine and i will always be hers.Insyallah.If God’s willing.I can’t see myself loving anybody else beside her.I love you Nur A’idah.
There you go.2008 in a glimpse.
“..Dik,aku mohon.kau selalu menemani.Saat ku tengah terluka.
Kala ku tengah gundah.
Ku akan menjaga mu,di bangun dan tidur mu.
Di semua mimpi dan nyata mu.
Ku akan menjaga mu,tuk hidup dan mati ku.
Tak ingin,tak ingin kau rapuh..”
So,everywhere i go,i would just spot out for her like a stalker,or a predator looking for its prey.Even though there were quite a number of “over-friendly”nurses there and was actually asked to go to some club with a registration clerk,i still kept a look out for this nurse.That nurse in SGH.That nurse with the short hair.
Wait.
Is she a skinbyrd?Why is her hair that short?Why is she wearing thick eyeliner?Does she wear black panty hose,skirts and doc martens to start off with.This thing came to my mind but,what interest me most was her,in her scrubs.Like a sick guy’s fetish.
But,i didn’t care.I just need to know at least her name.
So,one day,as i was writing my report,this particular nurse came up to me.
“I heard you want to get to know A’idah?”,she said.
I went,”Who’s A’idah?”.
Wide eyed open,she said,that nurse with the short hair.I stopped whatever i was writing and i just like,maybe,giggle a little,like a school girl crush.I stammered for awhile and i just didn’t know what to say.She told me not to worry and she agreed to help me through it.
I was wondering how did she ever got to know about my feelings toward this particular nurse.When did i ever tell her and the only person i told her was one of the abang driver whom i close too.So,i asked my abang driver and told him that it was weird that she knows.
“Aku lah bilang dia.” (i was the one who told her)
Gulp.
So,the next few weeks it was awkward,calls taken hoping to send to the same hospital over and over again.I did try to look at her,but i could not see her,it’s like as they’re trying to tell me that,i should not take the chance.I asked my nurse friend and she told me we kept having different shifts.I was quite sad,a tad dissapointed.But,i peservere.Hoping that one day,i will meet her face to face,just to say hi.
Hopefully.
To be con’t.
As i was jogging this evening,with raindrops dripping down my face,my mind wondered around to the times when i was a teenager.It has been 6 years since i dropped the “teen” in my age.How i missed those silly period of nonsense and irresponsible behaviors.Not a care for the world and people are just happy go lucky.
I have very low self esteem.And it all started way back from secondary school.
When i was in secondary school,i thought i was good looking.My self esteem was way high up and it made me look like a snob.But,however,i particularly like this girl who was in the other express class.So,being teenagers,i did asked her to be my girlfriend.What she replied to me,mark the turning point in my life.
“Sorry,fie.I only treat you like a brother,”she said.
So,i thought,it’s okay then.Her loss.But,however,i have to blame Gurmit Singh for this when i was watching TV that very night when i came home from school.This particular segment in this show,was about “What girl really meant when she said this..”.
So,Gurmit said,”If she said,she only treat you like a brother,that means you’re ugly!”
My whole world came crashing down like a pack of cards.Ever since that day,i became concious about my looks.And i didn’t even dare to look at any passing girls.I was so pessismistic.I always feel that,there’s somebody else who’s even better looking than me.And its true.Come to think of it,my life have always been the sidekick of some good looking guy.And these girls,would always come to me just to get to know my friend,with their endless giggles.And,my-good-looking-fren would love the attentions.From primary school days,to secondary school,to poly days and even my PMT days!!How come i don’t get any of those attention?
Can life get any suckier?!
I don’t dare to ask a girl for number face to face.Hence,that’s why i chatted on mIRC.Even my ex girlfriend was a product of the mIRC chatting.I mean,i know people find love over the internet and stuffs.I thought i did,but at the end of the day it didn’t happened at all.
I always believe that if you want something,be a man and asked for it.
Well,i did.Sitting in the ambulance,writing down my report,my eye noticed this particular short haired,emo looking nurse,zooming here and there.I asked my driver,
“Bang.Nurse to macam arab kan?” (Bro.That nurse looked arab right?”)
Ever since that day,i kept looking out for her.Somehow,there was something mysterious about her.But,luck came,when i was able to hand over a case to her.My heart just went tachy and i nearly fumbled with my report.However,this nurse,didn’t even look at me.She just nodded and asked little medical questions and after that she just continued with her work.No other little talk.Whoah.
This nurse was driving me crazy.I need to know this nurse behind the mask.
“to be con’t”
It’s super hilarious and for a movie with profane sexual language and f-words every single minute,it’s pretty much funny!Well,it’s all up to your own descretion.It’s gross,funny,erotic and romantic all in one movie.
Zack and Miri,long time friends,heavy in debt decided to make a porno movie.They promised ,despite having sex with each other,it would not ruin their friendship. But as filming begins, what started out as a business proposition between friends turns into something much more.
Miri and Zack.
Every now and then,in this line i’m working,i would somehow meet challenges along the way which somehow would determine what type of person i am.Be it from dealing with complicated cases,handling difficult patients or even their relatives.But at the end of the day,we would just swallow every single abuse we take because we know that,the reason why they reacted that way is because,they’re under distress and they are extremely worried about themselves or about the patient.We do all our best to stabilize them on the field and transport them to the hospital.
But,if we’re disrespected by our medical counterparts,who should we gain respect from?
I am not trying to be big headed or telling the whole world that I’m perfect,but as a paramedic,I’m the first to reach to the scene,I’m the first to be with the patient and I’ve got the initial baseline vital signs.
I mean,we’re trained well enough to know what’s going on.And,what ever we do,it’s not for our benefits.We don’t gain anything from this.My main concern is for my patient his/herself.I want the best treatment for every of my patients that i conveyed.I want my patient to feel as if that his/her life is in good hands.
And please do not undermine any paramedics work.Because,it will look terribly bad for us.It states that we,paramedics are not competent to handle cases.I mean.Look at this way.Can you do what we do on the streets?
Not many can be paramedics and not many can do what we do.
So,
Trust us with our judgement.
We spend so much time looking for the right person to love,or finding fault with those we already love.When instead,we should be perfecting the love we give.
When you truly care for someone, you don’t look for faults.You don’t look for answers.You don’t look for mistakes.Instead,you fight the mistakes,you accept the faults and you overlook excuses.
The measure of love is when you love without measures.In life,there are very rare chances that you’ll meet the person you love who loves you in return.So once you have it,don’t ever let go,cause the chance might never come your way again.It’s better to lose your pride to the one you love,than to lose the one you love because of pride.
God didn’t promise days without pain,laughter without sorrow,sun without rain.But he did promise strength for the day,comfort for the tears and light for the way.When something happens to you,good or bad,consider what it means.There’s a purpose to life’s events.To teach you how to laugh more,or not to cry as hard.
Free your heart of hatred.
Free your mind from worries.
Live simply.
Give more.
Expect less.
The five steps to be happy.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It’s that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of
what I’ll never have…
I’ll never have…
I’ll never…
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in…
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this,
I cherish you.
