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Sometimes,in life,its hard to know so much,but can’t do anything about it.Secrets people tell you and you’re sworn to secrecy.And,it’s those particular secrets that you have to keep it to your graves that will eventually kill.
For example,a girl who’s married,having an affair with your colleague.You’re in a tight situation that you can’t do anything about it.It’s very difficult to be in that spot where by,you want to tell them that it’s wrong,but,who am i to judge.Maybe,i might be jumping to conclusion but,sometimes,its really scary to know that the married girl,texting some other dude,while in the presence of the husband and her kid.I mean,shouldn’t there be boundaries and limitations once you’re married?
Another,secrets in your workplace,shouldn’t be told to others.And,it’s quite embarrassing to know that others know.And,because of that,people judge each other.It’s not fair as these people are not even in the same par or even that close to us to judge just like that.
So,you see,i’m not a huge fan of knowing secrets,but i am that busybody wanting to know what people know.
i guess i am
A walking contradiction.
I’m pissed off.
Really.
It’s those, “WHATEVER” moments.
I came across this particular entry about me in somebody’s blog about my relationship with my previous.Let me analyze and read through it.
..i had sincerely hoped that what happened in 2005 (most of our frenz would know wat im talking abt) would not repeat ever again but it did. the incident not only created an impact and damage in your life and hers, it created waves of collateral damage in other people’s lives (i know because i was one of them). even back then, i supported you and your decision..
My opinion:Whatever happen in 2005 was yes,because of my stupidity.But,why do i always have to be the bad one?What about my opinion.Did those “people” came up to me and ask me why?Did anybody even cared?Did anybody asked me?I damaged other people’s lives?Please lah.shit happens.deal with it.If friends really are friends,they shouldn’t be judgmental.Do you know that i was backstabbed every now and then?
..beginning this year when you talked about engagement and marriage to her, I was one of the happiest person coz you guys are a step closer to the DREAM. only to found out on that you broke up with her 2 weeks after that. i dont know what was the reason back then, but i was worried for you. worried that you are making a big mistake again.
bt i found out why, nt from you bt frm yr frenz. in my opinion, your new lovebird is not even a dot better compared to her. i hope your new lovebird knows what she’s getting herself into as you tend to dump other girls like hot potatoes when you decided to patch back with her..
My opinion: Yet again,proving my theory right.Did anybody asked me again?Did anybody asked me how i was feeling that period of time?My handphone has been pretty silent.Did anybody asked me what had happened.Yet again.And who are these friends who told you this?I sure didn’t tell anybody.Just because i have a friendster,that doesn’t mean you can judge me for that.I dump other girls?what other girls?can you name some.I date,yes.It’s called dating.It’s not being together.Please,get on with the program.Don’t be such a malay.But for your information,i have 2 long relationships.
How dare you compare?You can’t compare apples and oranges and get the same thing together.And please,i’m happier now.much much more happier.
..for the past few years, she has always taken you back whenever you regret breaking up with her. i know also on a few occasions she dump the current guy she was dating to give u another chance. but i hope this time, when you want to patch back with her, she’ll kick your ass all the way to Timbaktu. in fact, if we were living back in medival England where there were dukes n duchess, lord n lady, somebody would have challenge you in a duel to fight for her damaged honour and heart. I certainly would be there not to support you bt to see yr downfall.
i’m through with supporting you since you refuse to listen to reasons. you want to dump your old friends just because of your new lovebird, by all means go ahead..
My opinon:For the record,that was only one occasion,and that guy was a good friend(back then).Whoever thought dating your good friends ex-girlfriend is a good idea?s.Please,get your facts right before you blurt it out.
You know what i feel about you all these years.You’re one bloody busybody.and you think people a.k.a our friends like you?No they don’t.Reality check.They find you weird and irritating and guess why they opt you out for every raya gathering? And guess who was against them when they bad mouth you,it was bad-decision making me!
I have never asked you to support me,and i have never said i didn’t listen.I dump my old friends?I have been there all these while.But,when shit happens,where were these so called friends of mine?Please lah.Nobody even mentioned anything and nobody even cared.People moved on with life and i like it that way.Yes.Back then,i thought they were just being selfish and didn’t even bother about me.Happy times were there,but its long gone now.For your record,i cared so much about my friends,about AIKZ,about SEmbarang,about everybody before i cared about myself.I was dissapointed when nobody came up to me and asking me how i was.But,i’m not bothered at all now,because,it’s my life and i do what i want.So come to the next question.
Who died and made you queen?
Whatever decision i make in life,it’s mine.Bad or good.It’s mine.I don’t see what seems to be your problem.I have never disturb you at all.
So,i chose this path and i’m happier.i have better friends now who don’t judge me for who i am.Who knows me for what i am and listen to me and be there for me when i needed.
And stop acting like as if you’re my saviour.Even my mom don’t treat me this way.If you don’t like it,leave.By all means.I don’t really care actually.So,stop snooping into other’s and start concentrating on your own life.Cause as far as i’m concern,i didn’t snoop into yours.
I am happier now.Somebody managed to put back the smile on my face.And i like to stay it that way.
bitch.
The sad thing about enjoying your work,is that sometimes,we grew tired of it.Not because of the job,but because,i am literally tired.Superbly shagged out.The calls just kept on coming in and it never take a break.It’s commonly known that,if we’re tired,our mind starts to function lesser and our body system just tells us that,we need to rest and take a break.
The funny thing about me,if i’m tired from spending the day working,i would be the most blurrest and naive person on earth.So hint to people out there,i’m most vulnerable when i’m tired.But,don’t mistreat my blurness to a very nice carebear.
I have a short fuse too.I can easily be smiling but yet,be super cranky the next.Especially,when things don’t go my way.I get very frustrated and sometime i just want to be left alone.No nonsense talk.I had scolded and shouted at one of my medics,for whining too much and he whined to me at the wrong timing.
I may have been over worked,but,cannot be leh.I just came back from leave.Or,it could because of the number of cases i have today makes me cranky right now.hmmm.
I came back to work once,with my lappie and i saw one of my colleagues who was on duty.I always like to be with her,cause,she can be the most funniest person on earth.But,somehow,there are a few things that’s bothering everybody and it’s kinda pissing people off.I’m like caught in the middle.
As you see,being new in a new environment,we somehow have to be diplomatic and sensitive in what we’re saying and communicating with our fellow colleagues.You can’t expect people to know what’s your character is from the first day.Unlike me,I’ve known this particular colleague of mine ever since.We have been pretty good friends and i like her.No,don’t get me wrong.She’s just a nice person,she’s married by the way.
So,well,i have received news that somehow,she has not been making good waves right here.She can be kinda blunt with her words and sometimes,people don’t appreciate it.And sometimes,remarks can be very hurtful.Trust me,i’ve been in that situations before,cause i can give random remarks.Practically,everywhere i go including the senior drivers,they have pretty unpleasant comments.
Before i was posted to Central,i was from Alexandra FS.It’s not a bad place,and i was kinda sad to be posted out of Alex as i have made many good friends down there.But,well,work is work and i am posted to Central.As a new passed out paramedic a year ago,i’ve heard stories about how busy life in Central is.I was a tad nervous being new and such.
So,on my very first day,i was greeted by Faiz,before he was OIC.A warmth welcome,very nice guy with a very firm handshake.I said Hi and he introduce me to the station.So,on my very first day,still under probation,i went out with my very good brother,Eddy. I was quite intimidated by him the first time around,it’s like,he have this,”don’t-screw-me-or-i-will-destroy-you”face.But,i thought we did pretty alright,being new and nervous at the same time.
So,for the next few days,i followed my own Rota,and most prominently with Azhar.He can be a tad intimidating too,well,if i was still a trainee,i would be very scared.But,he happened to be a very nice guy lah.He gave me lots of advices about how to be in Central and how to adapt.
Yes.One point of time,i wasn’t happy at all to be in Central.The way people work,the system,being new and not knowing anyone.Basically,i was
lonely.
I told Azhar about transferring out from Central,maybe because,i was having a culture shock.Very much different from Alex.Too different.He gave me strong advices that until now,i kept it still.
I have to be positive about changes.And,changes are sometimes good and bad,and if changes do happen,we should be able to adapt to it.If you can’t win them,join them.
So,after that fateful day,i became a newer person.I began to open up more to people,i talked to almost everyone in station,from a very cranky abang driver to the most gayest medic.Practically, i don’t have any grudges with anyone or any ill feeling.I am here to work and i want to be in a place there are no personal grudges.Yes.I don’t fancy people here and there.But,life is like that.Shit happens,deal with it.And,now,i am proud to be in Central because,even though the number of calls are high,but people here are nicer.It’s these small little details in life make it possible for me to stay long in this career.
So,whatever happened to me back then,is happening to my dear colleague of mine.It’s not easy being new and outspoken.Sometimes,we have to test the waters in order to get in people’s good books.As a paramedic,it’s not just the patient’s life we care about,it’s the whole crew and including our lovable ambulance.We have to nurture the friendship and bond so that we can work together.
I just hope someday,she would know that and currently right now,she’s learning it the hard way.
At least,there will be a way.
Every single word you said,
sticks around inside my head.
and i wish that you would write to me.
wish that you will write to me.
Every single thing you say,
hits me every other day.
And i wish that you would write to me.
wish that you would write to me, cause i know..
I just wanna be with you.
don’t want to be without you.
A good article on how to end a relationship.
Get out immediately.The moment you realize you are in—or starting to get into—a relationship that is not working for you, just
say “no.”
Decide on a mode of communication.Voicemail, e-mail, or a card may be considered cowardly.However, these options have their advantages,
particularly for a short-term relationship. If you are ending a long-term relationship, consider drafting a
letter as a way to begin a conversation. Hand it to your partner to read while you are there.
Be kind.Mention the things you like about your partner and express gratitude for the good times you have had
together. This may seem contrived, but do it anyway.
State your position simply.Be decisive, leaving no room for doubt or negotiation.It is not necessary for the other person to agree withyou or to understand your reasons, but try to explain.One of the consequences of terminating a relationship is that you no longer have to get the other person to understand or agree.
Keep the focus on yourself.Talk only about yourself, not the other person: Don’tmake it their fault. Say something simple and true,such as, “I prefer not to continue dating, but I wantyou to know how much I have enjoyed your sense ofhumor,” or, “This relationship just is not working for
me.” If necessary, repeat these phrases.
Do not belabor the point.You do not need to go over all the advantages and disadvantages
of the relationship. Do not offer critical feedback or long explanations. If your real reason for
breaking up might be painful for the other person ton hear, do not mention it.
Do not try to take away the pain.You are doing what is right for you and the other person
has a right to a response. It is no longer your jobto make the person feel better. Be firm but not cruel.
Never say, “I will call you.”When tossed out insincerely, this phrase is unimaginativeand unkind. Instead, try saying something more honest and more final: “Maybe we will see each other again sometime. If not, have a nice life.”
A template which can be quite useful.
Dear ___________,
I won’t be able to make it this Saturday,
or any Saturday, in fact. The truth is, I just
can’t be in a committed relationship right
now. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not able
to appreciate all that you have to give.
I feel like we’ve been spinning our
wheels these last few years / months /
weeks / days. I can’t believe how wonderful
you’ve been to me and how much you’ve put
up with. You deserve better. I can’t put you
though this anymore and I can’t give you
what you need / want / deserve right now.
I need more space, and I need time to figure
out who the real [your name here] is.
It may take some time, but I hope we
can still be friends.
Sincerely,
[your name here]
Someone told me that I could never make anybody happy in life.And i’m just a screw up.
Tonight,
i was proven right.
I shall include a new section where i credit Joshua Pixen and David Borgenicht for some of their outrageous and sure win way in handling
So,from time to time,i will be entering some into this blog.
I was actually reading JEMS magazine when i noticed this particular article.It’s quite hilarious.Being in an environment that super stressful,i guess,this is a lighter side of EAS.I want to print it out and put at the ceiling of my ambulance.
1. It’s past midnight and I am not the same kindly paramedic I was at 8am, so be nice. I have big needles.
2. I may need to examine you, but you…”no touchy” the paramedic
3. Alcohol may turn you into an idiot, but try not to be stupid.
4.You are not Immortal. Beware: Ambulances used to be hearses
5.Don’t force us to use restraints.
6. If you drank enough to require my services, it’s not beneath your dignity to have me hand you a wastebasket to throw up
7.By law, you are not allowed to smoke in most public places. So what makes you think I am going to let you light up in an oxygen-enclosed closet on wheels
8. Arriving by ambulance to the ED won’t necessarily get you faster service.
9. If you think I’m tough, wait until you meet the ED triage nurse and hospital security guards
10. Maybe I wouldn’t have to cut your clothes off if you had worn your seatbelt
11. Life’s not fair. Get used to if. If it were there would not be 2 million lawyers in this town
12. Coming in by ambulance is not a “get out of jail free” card
